I have the ability to love endlessly and unconditionally. Even if they dont deserve it. Even if they hurt and neglect me. I tolerate it. I know. It sounds absurd, foolish and you may say I’m blind. But I am not blind. I’ve seen it all. I choose to act blind because my love has no boundaries.
If I truly love you , know that its unbreakable. It’s natural . Key word: natural. A love that I have no control of. A love that came to me. A love that changes me and makes me behave in ways that ultimately make me a better woman. That help me grow through the good or the bad. And nothing or no one can make any difference because I’ll love you still. I dont need anything in return to deliver my love to you. You can always find me. I will always be here. My love cant be hidden. It flows right out of me no matter how close or far you are. It’s like a waterfall in a forest; it can be bright, dark, cold or warm, and it will continue to pour flawlessly without it being altered. It will remain. It will be available for you whenever you want to immerse yourself in it. My love is potent.
I’ve learned to not expect people to love me the way that I love them. I cant expect them to love how I do. My love is too potent. And maybe the way that I am will create a sort of, self-destructive boundary between my future lover and I. Being too loving, too understanding, too forgiving, too available, gives him nothing else to want. Maybe Im just not cut out to be with anyone. And trust me, I’ve had my moments. I have cried and begged god to help me not feel as strong as I do, to not care as much as I do, to not stay as much as I stay. But I just cant. A love can beat me over and over and still, I cant get enough. Sick, but I dont want to be cured. I often find myself realizing that my love is not noticed or appreciated and at that very moment, it hurts. But I take the pain. I consume it like I’ve been put on fire and theres nothing I can do but to just feel the burn. Except, with this kind of fire, I swear I love to feel the burn. Honestly, it’s like I rather them stay and allow them to cause me pain, than for them to leave and feel nothing at all. I can do pain when it originates from my love. I can turn pain into power. That is who I am.
I sometimes give the benefit of the doubt when my love is not reciprocated. I doubt that they dont love me, or that my love does not create a spark they cant live without. It might just be that they lack the ability to identify it. Either for themselves, or through others. They may be scared. If they haven’t found true love for themselves, how could they possibly understand the love that I give ? If they dont see in them, what I see in them, how could they possibly understand the nature of the meaning of my availability to them? How can they see what I see, in us. The way that I love, many have not experienced. They dont know any better. For this is why my love cant be tamed. Because I know it did no wrong. After all, I am the one giving it to someone who simply could never understand it. My emotions , and the way I love dominantly, can simply be too much. It’s too extreme.I surrender my heart, my mind, my body, my soul. They believe it to be too good to be true so they almost immediately subside it. They deny it.
My love is so immense, its enough for the both of us. I am able to love you when you don’t love yourself. My love is magical. It’s a gift. My love is pure. My love is potent. I believe that anyone with this kind of love and heart, can never be broken. I carry a source of energy within me that enables my love to conquer all. I am able to carry all of your worries, flaws and insecurities, along with my own and still, continue to rise.
I am ok with being the way that I am. I am aware that I may give my love to someone who does not deserve it or that its too much to handle. I cant control what naturally manifest. I cant interfere with destiny. This is how I was made and I am learning to be okay with it. I am not wrong or dumb or stupid for loving people the way that I do, even if they dont deserve it, even if they dont appreciate it, even if they dont see it or dont want it. My love is too potent to go to waste. I no longer abuse my self and make myself feel like I have been cursed when in all reality, I have been blessed. Blessed with a love so strong, I am able to manifest almost any thing that I want in life. I am the kind of woman that believes in the impossible. Humble enough to know that I am not better than anyone, but wise enough to know that I am different from the rest. I know that I possess a love so strong and in great company. In great company of passion, ambition and perseverance; and with those type of qualities, cant nothing stop me from going after whats mine. My form of loving may be too much for a human, but it’s just enough for all the rest that life has to offer. Every achievement , every strength and motivation in my life, has derived from my potent heart. I’ve experienced all the pain and rejection in the world, and still I’ve elevated. Iv’e built a hell of a tolerance at only 27 years old that only death can stop me from achieving or loving anything my heart is set on. I have the power to set goals and to achieve them. To make my dreams come true. The love and strength to pull myself back up as many times as I need to. To make an impact on just about everything I touch and anything I do. To heal the ill, to make the poor feel rich, enough to never be forgotten, and enough to share with humanity.
My love cant be handled by one single individual because its meant for so much more.