May 2020 – Sweetesthustler

I FORGIVE MYSELF

I can be a hypocrite, I’ll admit it. I’m constantly telling others that they need to learn how to accept themselves, and how to love themselves, but yet, I don’t do it myself. Some days I swear I got it packed down, but the moment something or someone impacts me in a way in whichContinue reading “I FORGIVE MYSELF”

To my brother, I hope you know…

It’s been many years already. I’m not sure you know how much you matter to me. I never really got into it, but it’s because I couldn’t. I still can’t . I can’t tell you any of this. I’ll choke. I’ll drown in my tears. I rather just avoid it. Plus–I don’t want to hurtContinue reading “To my brother, I hope you know…”

I’m A Queen, and My Soul is Royalty

They tell me I think too much. They tell me I do too much. They tell me I want too much. They say I’m extra. I ain’t mad at it. Quite honestly, they’re right. I am extra, because I want extra. I do too much, because I learned not doing too much is not goingContinue reading “I’m A Queen, and My Soul is Royalty”

They don’t deserve me, I’m tired

It seems that when it comes to love, being in denial is one of the things that I am best at. It’s a defense mechanism that works for me—I guess. It helps me not face reality. It helps me hold on to him. I’m aware of what I’m doing and still, I continue because IContinue reading “They don’t deserve me, I’m tired”

MY TWISTED THOUGHTS

Tornadoes are rude. They have no manners. They’re invasive. They attack whenever they please. They’re destructive. I’ve never physically experienced one, but mental ones— yes. Very often in fact. They’re conceived by my clustered thoughts. I swear. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. I think and worry about too much at the same damnContinue reading “MY TWISTED THOUGHTS”

MY INTIMATE CONFESSIONS

I confess. I let him have me whenever he wants. No matter what. Every time that he looks for me, I’m here. But I can’t have him whenever I want, and every time I need him, he’s not there. I confess. I let him come over whenever he wants. Every time he asks, I sayContinue reading “MY INTIMATE CONFESSIONS”

IF I DIE TODAY

Pregnant at fourteen years old, a mother at fifteen. Still today at twenty-seven years old, when someone that doesn’t know me finds out that I have daughters, they always ask their age and then they stay silent for a few seconds. I already know what they are thinking. Like damn, why does it matter toContinue reading “IF I DIE TODAY”

TO MY DAUGHTERS

My dear daughters. Where do I even start ? The energy within me that fuels my heart–that energy– is you. The both of you. It exist because of you. It keeps on because of you. You are my battery in human form. You think I made you, but really–you guys made me. “Have you everContinue reading “TO MY DAUGHTERS”