Sometimes we simply don’t understand why things happen the way that they do. We repeatedly try to make sense of them, and still–nothing. It remains an answered question in our heart. Friends that one day meant the world to you, suddenly are gone, those who are able to connect with you on a level too beautiful and rare to simply rediscover elsewhere, who were literally a happy part of your life, simply eliminate themselves from your life and you can’t make any sense of it because as much as you try to do the same, you simply can’t. You can’t and it kind of makes you feel weak, like they’re the one that got away, like you’re the one that lost them. You try though. You wake up the next day, you act as if it doesn’t matter, like it don’t touch you, you get busy, you forget,– but only for the moment. Through the night, or early morning, through the silence, when your all alone, is when the truth reveals it’s self and the truth is it does matter, they mattered, and they clearly still do, even if you no longer matter to them, you can’t help but to face reality. You may cry at that very moment, as you realize and feel the truth soaking in.
I’ve gone through this recently, and, although things may not make sense to me, although it may still hurt me, or sting, or feel uncomfortable or feel unsettling within me…, above everything, I realize again, the purity of my heart, and I will never be ashamed of it.
“When your intentions are pure, you don’t lose anyone, they lose you.” -Nipsey Hussle
“Sometimes you have to take two steps back, to move ten steps forward.” -Nipsey Hussle
“Be truthful to yourself and other people, and try your best to make decisions outside your ego.” – Nipsey Hussle
“I never wanted to alienate my brand for business … I always wanted to keep it authentic and keep as pure as I could.” -Nipsey Hussle
“Material things ain’t nothing, you feel me? At the end of the day it’s who you is.” -Nipsey Hussle
If you no longer care for me, that doesn’t mean that I no longer do, if you’ll no longer speak to me, that doesn’t mean that I’ll no longer be here for you, if you no longer hold a special place for me in your heart, that doesn’t mean that I don’t hold a place for you in mine, and in case we never speak again, I will at least make sure that you know that, regardless if you accept or deny it, regardless if you acknowledge the value of my words or not. I know that I remained true to myself, and to my heart and soul, and no matter what happens, alive or dead, I remained sincere and I am proud of myself for that. I am proud of the woman I am today, and I am proud of myself for once again, taking on and overcoming one of the biggest challenges in the world,
remaining true to yourself.
I’m real, I’m genuine, I’m sincere, and my heart and soul is pure.
So no, I’m not weak. I’m strong.
And no, I don’t lose you, you lose me.