TO ALL MY SINGLE MOTHERS, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU.
I know what it’s like to worry about what or how to feed your children during your toughest moments.
I know what it’s like to worry about the rent being paid in order to avoid being evicted.
I know what it’s like to be exhausted after working so much, and to struggle finding the strength or motivation or even the time to do something as simple as the laundry.
I know it can get difficult to get out of the bed early in the morning.
I know what it’s like to worry about your children getting bullied over the way that they look, over what they have or don’t have, or over anything else that children unfortunately and sadly now a days are influenced to make fun of.
I know it hurts that you want so much more for your babies, they deserve so much more and you want to give it to them so badly, but you are struggling so you beat yourself up.
I know what it’s like to not have a babysitter and to have to make sacrifices in order to continue going to work or school.
I know what it’s like to worry and think the worst when your child complains of a strong headache or has a high fever or showing any other signs of illness.
I know what it’s like to fear losing them.
I know what it’s like to be depressed and trying your best to hold it in because you don’t want your children to feel it or see you cry because then they will cry and then it will hurt you even more.
I know what it’s like to have to max out your credit cards, sacrificing your credit score although you need it so bad to be able to do pretty much everything in life, but you sacrifice it because you need every available transaction you can get to keep up with the bills, food, or necessities or to take your children out so that they can enjoy life and not feel your struggle.
I know what it’s like to see your children crying and suffering over their dads. It hurts us x10 and makes us hate them for it.
I know what it’s like to struggle disciplining your kids. You don’t want to be too strong and push them away from trusting you, but you don’t want to be too soft and allow them to step over you either.
I know what it’s like to close your eyes while imagining you and your children walking into a big house that you bought, or imagining you crossing that stage in front of them and them clapping for mommy. I know that it makes your tears fall out of your eyes as you envision it all because you want it so, so bad.
I know what it’s like to worry about your children not believing the things that you advise or how difficult it is to find the perfect words in order for them to listen to you and not end up hurt because again, it’ll hurt you, too.
I know what it’s like to fear that your children can one day be one of those many children that are missing, kidnapped, molested, etc.
I know what it’s like to realize how quickly your children are growing and being so proud but at the same time afraid that one day they’ll grow apart from you.
I know what it’s like to fear that one day God will take us from them because we know that noone can ever love them how and as much as we do.
I know what it’s like to feel helpless knowing your children will have to meet heartbreaks, embarrassments, failures, falls, etc.—and although you know that it’s a part of life, you will still do anything to keep them away from it because your heart is their heart and it deeply cracks every time that they have such an experience.
I know what it’s like to feel jealous of dad thinking one day they’ll want them and not you, and fear that they love them more than you and although it can be an immature way of thinking, it’s the truth and your children are your weak spot so you can’t hide it.
I know what it’s like to desperately cry, pray and hope every single day for a better life for you and your children.
I know the struggle of finding and maintaining the strength, patience, resilience, composure, motivation, clarity and much more you must maintain, in order to be able to continue studying or chasing your dreams and goals.
I know what it’s like trying to find the silence or environment required to focus on school work at home with your children by your side, as they constantly tell you they want something or that they’re hungry, or simply want your attention.
I also know what it’s like to miss your children so much after a few days of not seeing them and feeling guilty about it but you have to do it in order to be able to study and pass your final nursing exams, or in order to recover your sleep after working many double shifts.
I know what it’s like to have to have to work double shifts back to back just to find that you continue to struggle financially.
I know what it’s like to lose sleep and not take care of yourself because you are always studying, working, or grinding and have no time to stop because you can’t afford to and no one understands.
I know what it’s like to feel guilty about not being able to help your children with their homework as much as you wish you could—knowing they need more help.
I also know what it’s like having to help them with their homework and cook and do your homework at the same time on a day where you feel completely overwhelmed. Those days are so tough and sometimes you have to run to the bathroom just to cry.
I know what it’s like to feel guilty because you feel like none of that should be difficult but it is because you feel physically weak and your mind is drained and your anxiety level is at it’s max and sometimes you can’t help but to—break down.
I know what it’s like to see and hear your child cry about being body shamed or being insecure about who they are in life, and you feel so, so, so helpless and wish so bad that you can grab them and fly off to space with them forever and ever, so that they won’t ever have to feel pressured and suffer from a low-esteem due to societies self-destructing influencing expectations.
I know the feeling you get when you realize that you can not protect them from everything in the world.
I know what it’s like.
A mothers love is a love that can never be replaced.
A love so deep and pure, it can conquer the world.
A love so powerful, it can accomplish anything.
A love so influential, it can heal in all aspects.
A love so driven, it will always find a way.
We are not perfect, but we always aim for perfection.
We want everything and anything that relates to our children, to be bliss.
I know that sometimes we struggle accepting and believing that we are the best kind of mothers for our children, but we are.
Matter a fact,
they will never trade us,
they will never leave us,
they will always choose us.
I know that I can be homeless and have nothing right now– and my children will choose to be homeless and have nothing with me, just to stay with me.
They will never leave my side.
They will never leave me.
I know that to my children I am a hero,
and by my side,
they feel safe.
The love my children and I share,
is so intensive,
is so powerful,
our love drives us.
It drives me.
My children are all I need,
to continue dreaming,
to continue believing,
to continue fighting,
to continue hoping,
to continue hustling,
to continue loving,
to continue thanking,
to continue living.
The bad will never out shine the good, and just as much as I know what it’s like to struggle, to fear, to worry, to break down, to feel pain, etc.,
I also know that being a mother to my little girls is the greatest gift, blessing, and love that could ever exist and for that,
I will forever and ever continue to embrace and move forward.
My happiest moments, my happiest tears, my greatest joy, my greatest excitement, my biggest dreams, my greatest motivation, my most vivid and most splendid and most absolute beautiful views, my greatest accomplishments, my upmost strength, my happy heart—is all derived from the existence of my children.
The blood that continues to thoroughly and gracefully circulate throughout my body, the wonderful melody of my heart beats, the rising of my body and spirit every morning—is all derived from my daughters.
We are okay.
We are blessed.
We are grateful.
We are protected.
We are not alone.
We are loved.
We can and will find ways through every and any obstacle we encounter.
We will find opportunity in the middle of every difficulty.
We are doing just fine,
and we are the best mommies ever.
Ask your child,
I guarantee they’ll remind you.
Peace and Love,